Getting What You Want: Forget the "Shoulds" and Tell Him

How do you go about getting what you want when you've been married for years, you've always liked the same things, but your mate should know, but just doesn't seem to understand? Here's the answer.

Should you have to keep telling him what you want? No, you probably shouldn't.

Shouldn't he already know that by now? Yes, he probably should.

But, you know, the "shoulds" are irrelevant.

If he still hasn't figured it out, then you need to tell him again. And again, and again.

It is your responsibility to tell him.

Of course, you could choose to sit there and stew about it. But, why choose to suffer or be miserable when simply letting your partner know what you want is all that it takes to get it.

I've learned this from experience.

Case in point:

We usually go out for a big breakfast every morning. If we are working at home together, it is our time out in the world. If we are busy with outside commitments, it is a time devoted to each other. It also ensures that we have a solid, hearty meal to start the day.

My husband does great on this meal. So much so, that he doesn't care if he eats again until we have a balanced meal for supper. He's content to grab a piece of fruit or a candy bar to eat on the run.

Not me. I need to have protein and complex carbohydrates mid-day. If I don't, I get headachy, shaky, and grumpy.

I can wait until the proverbial cows come home and he won't suggest having lunch. I know. I've tried it. All the while, I'm becoming more and more miserable, both physically and emotionally.

For crying out loud. We've been married years now. He should know.

But, he doesn't. More accurately, he doesn't think about it.

So, I need to tell him.

If I tell him that I'd like to have lunch in half an hour, thirty minutes later, he's at the table.

It's that simple.

To get what I want, all I have to do is tell him.

It works that way in lots of circumstances. You can order from a restaurant menu and leave it all up to the cook. Or, you can tell the waitress how you want your order prepared. You can buy a new car off the sales lot – or you can order one with the accessories you want. You can stew about how the stylist cuts your hair, or you can show her a picture and tell her what you want.

No, you won't always get your way.

But, lots of times, you will. Much of the time, getting what you want is as simple as making your wishes known.

Ask and ye shall receive. Don't expect someone to read your mind. Old clichés? Of course. But, they still stand true. The key to getting what you want from your partner is to clearly let him know.

Getting what you want -- and making it easier for the other person to give you what you want -- is a sure way to be more relaxed, refreshed, and recharged.

And, no, this isn't being selfish. It is making life easier for your mate. He can meet your needs and add to you happiness -- things he wants to do -- without having to guess what it is that you want.

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