Christmas Fun Quotes - Not the Real Meaning of Christmas, Just Some Silliness

Some Christmas fun quotes that might give you a laugh and help make your day a bit brighter. To take away stress, they're a bit of a gaff, meant to make the season seem lighter.

One elf said to another elf, "We had Grandma for Christmas dinner." And the other elf said, "Really? We had turkey!" ~ Author Unknown

In the old days, it was not called the Holiday Season; the Christians called it 'Christmas' and went to church; the Jews called it 'Hanukkah' and went to synagogue; the atheists went to parties and drank. People passing each other on the street would say 'Merry Christmas!' or 'Happy Hanukkah!' or (to the atheists) 'Look out for the wall!' ~ Dave Barry

You know you're getting old, when Santa starts looking younger. ~ Robert Paul

Santa is very jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live. ~ Dennis Miller

A Christmas shopper's complaint is one of long-standing. ~ Unknown

What I don't like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day. ~ Phyllis Diller

From a commercial point of view, if Christmas did not exist it would be necessary to invent it. ~ Katharine Whitehorn

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
Not a creature was stirring - not even a mouse:
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there. ~ Clement C. Moore

If "Ifs" and "Buts" were candies and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas. ~ Author Unknown

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin. ~ Jay Leno

One good thing about Christmas shopping it toughens you for the January sales. ~ Grace Kriley

I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph. ~ Shirley Temple

Jennifer Bofinger, media spokeswoman for the animal rights group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, said despite the shabby treatment of deer in general, her organization has not received any complaints about how Santa Claus treats his reindeer. ~ Los Angeles (LA) Times

Christmas is the season when you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. ~ Author Unknown

The skeleton couldn't go to the Christmas party because he had no body to go with. ~ Author Unknown

Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ~ Bill Watterson

One of the nice things about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with a present. ~ Author Unknown

At Christmas play and make good cheer, for Christmas comes but once a year. ~ Thomas Tusser



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